Monday, April 06, 2009

This is Tabbie's brain.

This is Tabbie's brain on drugs.
Actually, I use mind-altering substances, but not right now. I am currently sober as a whistle. Clean- as a mop that hasn't been used yet.

Here's what's on my sober little mind right now:

I am addicted to horror movies and scary stories. I love freaking out while holding seances and playing Ouija. I have nightmares for weeks afterward and do it all over again. On my way to see a horror movie in a few minutes- it's no "Teen Wolf", but it should do.

Electronic cigarettes are pretty much the lamest thing ever. Besides nicotine gum.

I need better bras. I buy a lot of bras and am hardly ever happy with the look and feel of them. I have big, lovely boobs and they require more support than the cutesy bras at most stores can give them. I want cute, HUGE bras!

My dog is adorable. Very bad, but irresistably cute.

I wonder when I'm going to have to stop going to night clubs because I've become the creepy old broad getting her groove on. Maybe by the time that happens, there will be a night club near me that a bunch of other oldies go to as well. But will they know how to dance and get wickedly down on the dance floor?

Why would anyone want to date Bret Michaels? He wears more make-up than my trashiest cousin and he kisses chicks like he's sucking down spaghetti. The wide array of complete hookers he's been with is disgusting and he looks like a doofus with his do-rag and extensions.

I really like going camping in the summertime- to places with lots of shade, hot, private showers, and a fire pit. I want to go this year with someone who will put my tent up for me. And I want to have some peace and quiet and stare at the stars and drink far too much gin & tonic.

I have to go see that scary movie now. Eeek!

14 comments:

Rassles said...

At least you don't need to worry about picking up guys as the creepy old broad, right?

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Why wouldn't I be picking up guys?

.Nicotine.Queen. said...

I fully agree. . . they make these adorable cute comfy supportive bras for boobs that can easily go without. It annoys me to no end.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I like horror movies too...just not ones having to do with satan an possession. NOOOOOO!

I am so with you on Bret Michaels. Why ladies....why?

Mike said...

Maybe that's the problem that your blind stinkin' sober.

Rassles said...

Boyfriend? Oh, unless you're a swinger.

Yeah. I could see that.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

NQ, I just don't get it.

Tee, Like Emily Rose? Scared the holy living crap outta me. Much like the thought of having to share breathing space with Bret Michael's girlfriends.

Mike, I have to be sober sometimes. Otherwise, I won't realize how much I enjoy little pleasures like too much wine.

Rassles, Oh. The boyfriend. Yeah, but there's no ring on my finger, so I'm not exactly bound for life.

sista #2 said...

Why the hell do I continue to watch Brett Michaels? They have to be the skankiest women on the face of the earth.

I cannot believe these girls, since most are half his age, are that hard up for a rocker.

Just nasty.

I crack up when they say...."I have feelings for Brett". Oh please, just bang him and get it over with.

Thanks for getting me started....

peace
#2

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Sista #2, I love watching the show- I just don't think the rocker is hot at all. Ewwww.

Del-V said...

I was hooked on that freakin' nicotine gum for a year. It's like chewing plastic and it makes your throat itch. But it's full of delicious, delicious nicotine. Quitting the gum was harder than quitting smoking. At least for me.

Bob Dobalina said...

There's only one thing lamer than electronic cigarettes.

Pearls.

Scotty said...

I have never heard of these cigs you speak of, must google them.

put my tent up for me
At first I thought you wrote:
put a tent up for me

TC said...

I want a cute - if naughty - puppy!

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Del-V, That's the plan- sell you gum that's majorly addictive under the guise of trying to lure you away from something else that's addictive. It's a fucking racket.

BobD, Girls who hate nice things totally agree.

Scotty, Either way, feel like going camping?

TC, Borrow mine for a week just to be sure. I DARE YOU.