Bad blood

I used to donate my blood to both the red cross and united blood services regularly. Now they call me about once every two weeks, asking if I'd like to save 2 lives with just one donation. My blood is quite handy because it doesn't have some harmful virus that can kill babies or something. A lot of adults have this virus- it's totally benign to grownups, so you likely wouldn't even know if you were infected.

Anyway. I've never had it, so they're after me all the time to go give up a pint. It gets kind of old to keep turning them down lately with my poor excuses- nope, sorry, just got another tattoo. Have to wait a year. Woops, just went to a malaria area. Have to wait a year. Yikes sorry, I'm just plain defective and may pass this on to someone I'm supposed to be helping.

So when the red cross fella asked me just now if I could donate, I told him I'm not able to donate anymore. Which was easier than going into why. If you've ever donated blood, you know they ask a million personal questions: have you ever shot up drugs? Ever slept with a hooker? Ever been paid for sex? I wonder which he thought I'd done.

At any rate, no more blood donations for now from me. Hopefully you, reader, can go donate. It really does save lives. Plus, free cookies and juice!!!

Gross realization

Iwoke up early this morning, excited that I'll be off to San Francisco in a few hours for SantaCon. Let the dogs out in the rain and made some coffee. After two cups, I hopped in the shower. As I was washing my hair, I started to feel a little queasy.

I often feel like I'm going to hurl. It's my weak stomach- not pregnancy. I hope. So I continue my business and breathe through it. Just as I finished applying conditioner, I shocked the hell out of my shower by projectile vomiting all over it. Disgusting. I don't think I've ever done that before.

Anyhow, it was my coffee with vanilla flavored cream and there was more to come, so I hopped out, dripping wet and confused, and got rid of my second cup in the toilet. Well placed. Much better than in the tub.

When I was finished, all I could think was- I wonder if the caffeine made it into my blood stream yet or if I'll have to drink more to feel the effects. That's when I realized I have a serious problem. Caffeine addiction.

Here I sit on my deck overlooking the Pacific ocean, hair still full of conditioner, drinking my third cup of coffee this morning. I'm waiting for the lingering effects of the nausea to pass before I attempt to finish my shower.

What a gross way to start my day.

Learning from mistakes: I'm doing it rong.

SOME people make a mistake, feel stupid, and try not to repeat it. Me? I happily do the opposite. I've been reminiscing and telling stories about the stupid things I've done all weekend and it's just so- um- sad yet funny. I live a full life without worrying too much about where I'll end up. Consequences be damned.

I mean- my dating stories alone could fill 600 hilariously painful pages. I love laughing at myself.

I also love feeling the fiery passion and adrenaline that comes with jumping into major life decisions with both feet.

The feeling that I get when I'm on the verge of a possibly very fun but risky adventure... Haaaaaaa. Can't wait.

Stoopid week

My week started off badly. Sunday night/Monday morning will go down in the history books of Tabbie for all time as one of the top 10 strangest experiences of my life.

Drinking turns some people into completely psychotic dick noses. I'm not going to go into details here because it's too much to put into writing. Maybe someday when we're sharing our 3rd bottle of champagne (or cap classique) of the night, I'll tell you the story. By then, it will be light-hearted and I'll toss in all of the things that make me giggle about it. I'll leave out the parts where I was afraid for my safety and the part where I thought a friend of mine was for sure about to produce a monstrous amount of puke and/or get arrested in Nevada.

After that night, my week got worse. The drunky drunk friend let some information slip that shouldn't have gotten out. Another friend of mine got her feelings hurt. I hate to see my friends hurting.

HATE it.

But there was really not much I could do about this. So I just sent out a warning signal to the other people involved in the mess that there was, in fact, a mess. And I backed off.

Now, I'm not sure where to turn next. It's like my ability to process friendship information is broken. I love every one of the people involved in this icky mess, but they don't love each other.

People I love are being mean to each other. I HATE this.

Also, there's no goddamned clock on this computer screen. It's some kind of bullshit when I can't even use a computer screen to tell the goddammned time. Fuck you, screen.

Wait. It's not the screen's fault that I'm pissed. Still, I hate this stoopid, worthless screen.

Gogogogogogogo Go!

There are times in my life when all I want is everything I don't have.

Currently, I want to take off and start something new. Somewhere new.

I want to live in another country. To run a fantastically successful business and embrace a local culture that is wildly different from my own.

I'll graduate with my MBA in November, the job that I start tomorrow will complete at the end of the year, and my lease is up in February. I've got to move relatively quickly to set this in motion.

Go go go!

batshit crazy for two

I met a man while traveling last month.

He owns a hotel in the Costa Rica Caribbean and after one night at his hotel, he practically begged me to stay another night so that he could take me out and have me with him for a few more hours. He was the one who checked my Aussie friend and I into a great room with an ocean view when we arrived.

Immediately, I could tell that he liked me. It wasn't very well hidden in his eyes or his frequent offers to bring things up to my room personally- extra towels, a bottle of wine, my shopping bags which were light enough to be held with one hand. There is a hotel manager and a maid- surely they could have been as helpful? But no. He was over the top.

It's why, when I was checking out after only a one night stay, he asked me to sit with him and shared his coke light with me. And begged. Pleaded for me not to leave that night. Asked what was more important than spending time with him?

We stayed. He took me out and introduced me to every single local we came in contact with. Some were rude to him and he brushed it off as jealousy- he had money and they didn't. I wasn't buying it, so I cornered one of the guys who was only just civil to my host. I asked him what was up and he confirmed that my guy was regarded as an outsider by many of the locals even though they have all known each other since childhood.

Hmmm.

Then, on the dance floor later that night, I guess I got too friendly with another man. We weren't even dancing close, but my host whooshed me out of there and to the next bar with a few harsh words for the other man on the way out. Jealousy already? Really? We only just met. At the next place, he was much more attentive to me-meaning he was never more than 3 feet away and kept asking me to adjust my top. I was wearing a lowcut shirt that highlighted a couple of my greatest assets and he saw other men looking my direction quite a lot.

The next morning, my Aussie friend and I left town, in a rush to the big airport in the city. I didn't expect to hear from my host again, but after a couple days back home, he called. Wanted to know how soon I could manage to come back. Spoke with me about being able to collect me from the city if I could spare just a couple days for him. I was noncommital.

Two days ago, he called again. This time, speaking about how he can't wait for his children to fall in love with the beach and with music as he did as a child. As of yet, he only has a dog. He spoke of his future children. Then, he offered a bold proposal.

He asked if I would go to the Phillipines with him to meet his adoptive family there. He admires and respects his parents and thinks I would adore them and they would love to have me.

Ummmmm... After knowing me for two days? Really?

But who am I to turn the other cheek just because an idea seems crazy?

San Jose to Arenal / La Fortuna to Puerto Viejo

I met my Aussie friend in Costa Rica for a 6 day road trip while she waited for her new Visa to process. Girl has been traveling in the US for 3 months and wanted to come back for more.

So I get to the airport and we had decided at the last minute to rent a car. Thought we'd be really super extra brave. Well... there are no street signs in Costa Rica. No one mentioned this to me- ever. And I didn't notice the last time I was there because I wasn't the one driving.

We were supposed to meet between 2:30/3pm in front of the US consulate in downtown San Jose. I got directions from the car rental place and ended up... somewhere else. Somewhere very rainy. Okay, so it was raining everywhere in San Jose just then, but I thought ESPECIALLY where I was driving. After stopping at a few places where I tried out my special brand of remedial Spanish mixed with charades, I found it. American flags flying. Ahhh, what a great feeling.

But no Aussie waiting for me. Apparently, she had wandered off 10 minutes before i finally got there- in search of internets to get in touch with me. I stood under the shelter of my umbrella and waited. My phone rang- it was my roommate. My Aussie friend was chatting online with her from somewhere near by. Yay! A few minutes later, we hugged it out and scuttled back to the rental car around the corner.

She wanted to take me to a delicious local restaurant near where she had stayed the previous night. When we got there, I was surprised to see it was the same exact place where I had my first dinner in San Jose during my trip in 2003. It's a very unique, welcoming restaurant with staff who kissed and hugged us on the way out.

Off to La Fortuna, we went.

It's supposed to be a 3 hour drive, I think. We left at around 7pm and made it by midnight. Not bad, considering a total lack of street signs and a fragile grasp of the local language.

We stayed at Kokoro Resort just up the road from La Fortuna. It was a gorgeous, private getaway in between the Baldi hot springs resort and the bigger, fancier hot springs resort just up the road.

After checking in and looking around a bit, my friend asked about the resort's pool. He told us it was closed for the night, but that we could use it tomorrow.

Oooookay. We prepared a couple of strong cocktails in the room and snuck past our host a little while later to take a quiet dip in the gorgeous pool. The scenery even at night time is breathtaking and the water was perfect. We were careful not to splash and giggle, but I think he knew what we were up to. I gave him silent kudos for thinking of issuing great customer service first, rule enforcement second.

Thus ended my first day and night in what I refer to as "my country". I love it only second to my own. Possibly more, but shhhhh don't tell the patriots.

Costa Rica bound

@LAX. 1 Sapphire & tonic double down, 2 flights to go, 1 very cute boy met... :) :) :)
And off I go.

Just arrived in Houston. Walked outside & looked to see if I was standing near a large generator- what was causing this incredible heat? Nothing. It's nature. 6:30am and the heat is stifling. Incredible. Remind me not to go to Houston in the summertime. Ever.

After 3 or so hours of light sleep on the plane, I fear I will collapse somewhere around baggage claim and sleep through my connection. Will locate coffee to fight the urge of sleep.

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down

Just before I took off for South Africa, I broke up with my boyfriend, the rocket scientist.

We had dated for something like a year and a half, took almost two years off, then tried dating again for about six months. It just wasn't there for us- we are polar opposites in almost every way imaginable. I party like it's 1999. I talk to EVERYONE all the time. I talk about traveling, then half-remember to pack a bag on the way out the door for a trip. I think the world is made up of people who mean well.

Just think of the opposite of all those things and you'll get an accurate picture of him. There is nothing wrong with him as a person, but completely wrong for me. We'll still be friends, but won't try the dating thing ever again. He's completely on board with this plan.

So now... I'm single. I don't think I'm very good at being single. Recently, I realized that I'm one of those girls who is ALWAYS dating someone(s).

But I'm taking a break. No intentional dating. No active online dating. No set-ups between friends. Nada. I'm just going to let love come and sweep me off my feet if it chooses to and let it pass me by otherwise.

I have no timetable. I have no obligation to anyone to be in a meaningful relationship with them. I'm going to enjoy this purposeful singlehood.

But I certainly won't turn down an offer of a kiss from a beautiful stranger on my next vacation. It would be criminal to do so, don't you think?

Surprise Adventure

A couple years ago, my mom and I were visiting San Diego at the same time and wanted to go on an adventure.

My sister lives in Oceanside, so she got a few friends together to take a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico. After parking on the USA side of the country border and walking into the downtown area of Tijuana, I saw a big sign for a night club and my eyes lit up with wonder and excitement. I had never been to a night club in Mexico before!

I said to the group: Oh my god, you guys! Let's go there!
Worried looks were tossed my way from everyone in my vicinity. Probably even passers-by worried for this small group of silly tourists.
My sister flat-out said no. She didn't think it was a good idea.
But I am convincing and was determined.
Come on you guys! Have you ever been to a night club in Mexico and DURING THE DAY??? How exciting! Stop being sticks in the mud. Live a little!

And so, we were ushered in by a very welcoming man who stood at the entrance, just waiting for us to make up our collective minds.

As soon as we walked in, I heard some peppy music playing and squinted my eyes to try and see in the darkened club. I followed the man from the entrance as he led us to a long bench seat against a wall on one side of the room.

I thought it was strange that we were all seated at such a long bench and just as my mom sat down next to me, I looked up and finally, my eyes cooperated to see what we had walked into.

A very young-looking girl was dancing around a pole mostly naked on the stage in front of us. My jaw dropped and my stomach turned. SHIT. I just brought my mom to a seedy strip club in Tijuana.
Just as I was about to get up and high-tail it out of there, my mother leaned over speak firmly into my ear: We are having ONE drink and then we're leaving.

Ahhhh, mom. She didn't want to cause a scene, so she played it cool. My sister glared at me and her friends laughed. Dang. They all knew how much shit they'd be able to give me for practically forcing them to go into a strip club in the middle of the day on a family outing.

When we finished our drinks, we departed and it was unanimously decided that I was no longer allowed to choose activities for the remainder of the day. Probably for the remainder of my life on family outings, actually.

And now, for pictures of South Africa

My host and favorite new friend, Marcia. She did not actually roll in the grass. Just rested like a proper lady.


Dear Patrick, It's winter. The water is freezing. Love, Tabbie.
Dear Tabbie, I don't care. The ocean calls me. Sincerely, Patrick.


Apparently, penguins bite. I did not verify this with a science-based approach, but I believed the warning signs.


I didn't notice how gorgeous this was until I saw it on the computer screen. Funny how that happens, huh? This is the beach in Simonstown, where the penguins are.


Some rules were not made to be broken.


Petting cheetahs is A-ok!


I stopped rolling around on the grass, laughing til I snorted, to snap this. Trees! Sky!


Lunch at a vineyard?- Yes, please. More wine, please.


Le Meems sent me on a mission to get a bottle of Cap Classique. And get it, I did.


Local wine from the cafeteria atop Table Mountain


The tippy top of a mountain and the sea from the tippy top of Table Mountain


End.

Home, sweet home

I don't feel like crying anymore.

I've had the giggles all day. Even when I went for my torturous waxing this afternoon, I was giggly. Deanna is working at a new salon that hands out WINE for every client. THANK YOU, SALON!!! And she said it's really slow lately, so I should drop by just to chill, have a glass on the patio overlooking the marina, and chat. I love my waxer.

So- I am not unpacked yet, but I should probably do that tonight. We have some couch surfers coming in, but I forget who they are/how many they are. It's been awhile since we said they could come. Whatever- new people, new adventures. We shall see if they are rad, hmm?

I talked to my mom on the phone for the first time in a couple of weeks today and it took me about 15 minutes to give her a whole rundown of my trip to Africa. Most of it was stories from dance floors. Guess that's just the way I prefer to spend my time. Also, I broke my foot from so much dancing. Lame!

Mom told me my sister is having some issues with her pregnancy- she's at 35 weeks and her mucus is gone or something and she's dilated. I don't know how long babies are supposed to stay in for, but mom says it's too early for my nephew to meet the world. I'm thinking I should shoot down to San Diego for at least a few days to help my sis out so she can rest. She's working until Friday, then she's off to put her feet up and keep the baby in for as long as she can. I'm pretty sure my niece won't mind me being around either- we have super lots of fun together.

Traveling is hard.

I'm finally at a point where I can't wait to be home.

I've had a spectacular vacation and made some great new friends. Saw penguins on the beach, pet a cheetah, drank far too much wine. Rolled in the grass laughing, stayed at a backpacker, was blinded by strobes on a dance floor. Attended a FIFA world cup final, played with kitties and a dog. Met an interesting character or two or three.

All I want now is... rest. Cuddling with my puppy, laying in the bathtub, swinging in the hammock on my roof, and a good long cry. I'm a cryer- it makes me feel better.

40 hours or so from now, I'll have exactly what I want.

African Dance

Last time I was in Africa, I visited villages and saw how the locals spent their downtime. Dance routines and songs and all of the family members are involved. We enjoyed being able to witness the talents in such unlikely places.

This time in Africa, I'm in the city. No villagers with routines here, but there is dancing. Oh my, there is quite a lot of it.

Two nights ago, my Couchsurfing host Marcia and I went to a gay bar called Bronx in Cape Town. The music was loud, the dance floor was welcoming. We shook our asses to the beat until 2am. Ehxausted, we left.

Last night, we met up with the wonderfully gorgeous and sweet Sid (wish I could insert a link- but I'm on the iPhone). She reads & comments on Le Meems blog "Hallelujah". As soon as le meems heard that I was coming out here, she messaged Sid and told her (not asked! Bah!) to take me out while I was here.

We had 1/2 price cocktails then went to a fancy place where they were giving Salsa dancing lessons. Unfortunately, we were just a tiny bit late for the lessons, so we watched the last hour or so. The music came on at the end of it and a few of the ladies with us went out onto the floor and did some impressive Salsa moves, considering we'd missed the class.

I wanted to shake my groove thing a bit harder, so Marcia and I made our way out and to a nearby club called Jade. Hot, sweaty, packed. They played Michael Jackson and hip hop and we climbed over a couch into the VIP area. It's just how we do. Too hot, too packed though. So we went back to Bronx.

As soon as we walked in, we were specially greeted by a few men we'd met the previous night. They were happy to see us back. After leaving at 3am, hopping in the nearest cab, and getting home, I slept til after noon.

My feet hurt, but I'm feeling happy. A little joy does wonders for the soul.

Don't look back

Don't look back don't look back don't look back.

I chanted to myself over and over again after I said goodbye and boarded the escalator to the next floor up. Tears in my eyes. Don't fucking look back. This is goodbye, not see you soon. Goodbyes like this don't get a look back. And they don't get tears.

Goddamnit don't cry. And do fucking not look back.

And then I did. And I was reminded of the story in the bible where the one true god demanded that a family flee from their city that he was destroying and told them they'd be doomed if they looked back on it. The woman did and she turned to a pillar of salt.

But I stepped off the escalator and was still whole. Except for the tears that had escaped along the way. But those don't matter. I'll make more later.

Jetlag or?

I arrived in Johannesburg on Saturday morning after 1 domestic and 3 international flights. The plane I was meant to take from Minnesota to Amsterdam had mechanical problems, so we got off the plane and waited 4 hours for the replacement. My connection to Johannesburg left 10 minutes before I arrived in Amsterdam, so I boarded the next flight to Frankfurt and finally to my destination.

After 2 days of travel, I wanted nothing more than a shower and a change of clothes. Unfortunately, my luggage was left in Amsterdam, so I got the shower and went shopping.

My luggage still isn't with me, but I have a really cute new hat, jacket, scarf, etc. I've mainly been going pantiless because I forgot to buy extras. It's actually kind of liberating.

Off to a big soccer match between Brazil & USA tonight then Cape Town tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting my groove on with the locals there.

So I said to the plane

Will you use your wings to take me somewhere far, far away?

And the plane said yes.

Adventure awaits me in South Africa.

As fate will have it

Sometimes in life, we reach a turning point.

It's a point in time when there are so many possibilities. So much opportunity. Twisting, winding paths. I'm there. At a turning point.

I was laid off from my super corporate basement cubicle job at a giant company last week. I was ELATED. As the vice president of my department was breaking the news to me in her office with the human resources guy there to explain the process and the severance package, I was stifling the urge to do cartwheels.

They were both shocked when I thanked them for this. This wonderful vacation. They're paying me 6 full months of salary plus a bonus just to get me out of their hair.

My department was dissolving because funding had been cut to a minimum for the project we were working on. All over the company, they are laying folks off and cutting costs. Everything had been moving at a snail's pace and I wanted out of there with a fiery passion. I got what I wanted and it was everything I could do not to squeal with delight when I started to pack up my office and wheel the boxes out.

Freedom. Sweet, delicious time.

But now. Now I have some decisions to make. What the hell am I going to do? I'm not worried about finding work. I have a usable skill set and a stable employment record. My resume looks good and I'll work on it to make it even better.

The decisions about which job to take aren't on the top of my mind. They are about where to go from here.

Vacation. What to do, what to do...