thisiskindaboring

I’m taking a much-needed break from work for a few minutes to reflect. At the end of March, I took a ½ day off from my last consulting position to drive up to the Bay Area so I could start a new consulting job the next day. The people who interviewed me over the phone for this position let me know the project was… in trouble.

Typical. I love the problem-child projects. Anyway, I set their expectations pretty low on how much my involvement would help at such a late stage in the process. And then I jumped in, knowing exactly what I was getting into.

Ha. This job has been hard. Pretty much the toughest project I’ve worked on in my career. But I really did know that I would be challenging myself to do the impossible this time. We just launched a software tool to the company last week and it hasn’t blown up yet. Good sign. Very good.

I was just looking over what I need to do so I can transfer my work back to the project team at the end of next week before I get outta here and I laughed out loud. Like lol, laughing, you know?

I wrote detailed training materials for a system I’ve never used. I put presentations together, detailing processes as they used to be and as they will be in the future. For processes that I have never been a part of and don’t quite understand. I managed to track down and communicate with over a thousand staff members in 12 time zones, many the project team didn’t even know existed. I wrote 3 nice things about everyone who helped with the project, never having met 80% of them.

Today, I took a walking tour of some ghetto neighborhood in search of helium balloons and streamers. I found balloons (no helium), streamers, every strip club in San Francisco, and a club dedicated to Jack Kerouac. Then, I partied (well, had lunch with) the CIO.

I should have some down time after next week. I think my next job is starting the second week of June. Maybe I’ll take my tent and sleeping bag and my dog out to the river and camp for awhile. Also, a banjo. Yeah. Definitely need a banjo.

Predictably not awesome

First days at new jobs are usually a drag.

Knowing this, I set my expectations low today. Glad I did. I think I paid $25 to park my car when the machine said it should have been $15. I came in to work and there were piles of stuff in and around my designated work space. Like- even a big blue plastic table where my chair should have been.

The project seems to be on an impossible timeline. That was definitely expected. If everything was fine, they wouldn't have needed me there. It's going to be an intense couple of months.

Yesterday, on my way to my last day at the old job, I hit a bird with my car's windshield. I thought of going back to see if it was rehabilitatable, but the pacific coast highway is a busy, fast road and I was pretty sure it saw a quick death when it collided with me at 60mph.

First night in my new place last night. My dog seems nervous, but he'll chill in a week or so.

Learning a new neighborhood and a new job at once... not awesome. But I'll make it work, a la Tim Gunn.

shady recruiters

I deal with recruiters frequently, lately. Being an independent consultant is about 92% consulting work with the current client and about 8% securing the next client.

As an example: I just accepted a new contract position yesterday. My recruiter had me scheduled for an interview today with another company, which she cancelled as soon as I said yes to the other position.

This afternoon, I got a call from an internal recruiter at the company my interview was cancelled with today. She says they have this position open that I may be interested in. I told her I just accepted something else, but keep me in mind if anything opens up in a few months.

I know she already heard from MY recruiter this morning. My recruiter told her I had accepted something else and she cancelled my interview.

So the internal recruiter stops my "thank you" mid-sentence and says... well, what if we made it a fulltime employee position? I immediately think she's being shady and just trying to fill a position that someone in her office is hounding her for.

I ask how she came across my resume. She tells me I applied for a different position last year at the company. Which is likely true, but still. This was the same position my recruiter said would only be a 3 month job. So when my recruiter cancelled my interview, the internal recruiter looked into her database for old resumes and found mine. Called me directly, and offered to flip a contract position to an employee position. Which just- it doesn't happen like that usually.

It seems like it's not right. And, as a wise man from Iowa once told me: If it's not right, it's wrong.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the tow truck

I don't generally whine much about how much I hate my job. Please don't look through old posts to prove me wrong and call me a liar.

But yesterday. Yesterday, my car was broken and my plans to go into the office were dashed. Instead, I was loaded up with two fellas in a tow truck and we drove around Southern California in traffic, my big sedan on the back. It was one of the guy's second week at his job. The other guy was training and enoying the intricacies of the job as he explained them to the trainee.

We bumbled along the freeway at low speed and drove through a truck weighing station at 3 miles per hour. The whole time, I was listening in to a conference call for work and realized that I have an incredibly boring job in comparison to theirs.

I talk to the same people, day after day. I know what meetings I'll attend and what I'm responsible for delivering before my week even begins. I don't chat with strangers in the front seat of my car for an hour or two while passing the time in traffic.

I'd really dig being a tow truck driver. Or a horse trainer. Or maybe a cashier at a night club. OR OR!!! Perhaps a TSA agent. Yeah, that would be pretty cool.

As fate will have it

Sometimes in life, we reach a turning point.

It's a point in time when there are so many possibilities. So much opportunity. Twisting, winding paths. I'm there. At a turning point.

I was laid off from my super corporate basement cubicle job at a giant company last week. I was ELATED. As the vice president of my department was breaking the news to me in her office with the human resources guy there to explain the process and the severance package, I was stifling the urge to do cartwheels.

They were both shocked when I thanked them for this. This wonderful vacation. They're paying me 6 full months of salary plus a bonus just to get me out of their hair.

My department was dissolving because funding had been cut to a minimum for the project we were working on. All over the company, they are laying folks off and cutting costs. Everything had been moving at a snail's pace and I wanted out of there with a fiery passion. I got what I wanted and it was everything I could do not to squeal with delight when I started to pack up my office and wheel the boxes out.

Freedom. Sweet, delicious time.

But now. Now I have some decisions to make. What the hell am I going to do? I'm not worried about finding work. I have a usable skill set and a stable employment record. My resume looks good and I'll work on it to make it even better.

The decisions about which job to take aren't on the top of my mind. They are about where to go from here.

Vacation. What to do, what to do...

I am so professional... NOT!

I just left a little team meeting at work in the basement.

I was in my boss' office with a couple other staff members to work on some strategery stuff. One of my teamies asked about where our boss got the content in a presentation slide.

She said "I just pulled this out of my behind."
He said "Well, it looks really good."

I, of course, giggled and looked down at my notebook where I had been scribbling notes throughout the meeting.

Then, he said "Considering where it came from."

It's a good thing my team has gotten used to my childish sense of humor.

Countdown to chips and beer in 3...2...

I WANT TO GO NOW!

I'm finishing up my last few minutes of "work" before heading out to happy hour and trivia night at the Mexican place close to work.

I was supposed to either win or lose a bet today and probably buy the first round of silver bullets, but that fell through. The bet was on who was going to get into more trouble with our boss today: me or my co-worker. The one in less trouble had to buy drinks.

Thing is, neither of us got yelled or scowled at. Somehow, we pulled it off! YES!!! Our boss doesn't think we're fucking up! Ahhhh. Nice.

So I'll buy my own beer and eat chips and "slasa" and get smarter in order to play trivia against the other happy hour-ers.

4 minutes..... this has been the longest end of day ever.

3.... ugh. I can't wait!

Derr!

Sometimes, I feel like a complete lame-o. Like right now.

I'm trying to re-build this website that I've re-built several times before.
I just... can't... remember how to do it!
This isn't rocket science, yo.

It's just- maybe I hate doing it, so every time I finish with the re-build, I purge the step by step process from my memory.

Which is actually a really bad idea since I'd rather just get this over with.

Ugh, back to the drawing board.