Predictably not awesome

First days at new jobs are usually a drag.

Knowing this, I set my expectations low today. Glad I did. I think I paid $25 to park my car when the machine said it should have been $15. I came in to work and there were piles of stuff in and around my designated work space. Like- even a big blue plastic table where my chair should have been.

The project seems to be on an impossible timeline. That was definitely expected. If everything was fine, they wouldn't have needed me there. It's going to be an intense couple of months.

Yesterday, on my way to my last day at the old job, I hit a bird with my car's windshield. I thought of going back to see if it was rehabilitatable, but the pacific coast highway is a busy, fast road and I was pretty sure it saw a quick death when it collided with me at 60mph.

First night in my new place last night. My dog seems nervous, but he'll chill in a week or so.

Learning a new neighborhood and a new job at once... not awesome. But I'll make it work, a la Tim Gunn.

shady recruiters

I deal with recruiters frequently, lately. Being an independent consultant is about 92% consulting work with the current client and about 8% securing the next client.

As an example: I just accepted a new contract position yesterday. My recruiter had me scheduled for an interview today with another company, which she cancelled as soon as I said yes to the other position.

This afternoon, I got a call from an internal recruiter at the company my interview was cancelled with today. She says they have this position open that I may be interested in. I told her I just accepted something else, but keep me in mind if anything opens up in a few months.

I know she already heard from MY recruiter this morning. My recruiter told her I had accepted something else and she cancelled my interview.

So the internal recruiter stops my "thank you" mid-sentence and says... well, what if we made it a fulltime employee position? I immediately think she's being shady and just trying to fill a position that someone in her office is hounding her for.

I ask how she came across my resume. She tells me I applied for a different position last year at the company. Which is likely true, but still. This was the same position my recruiter said would only be a 3 month job. So when my recruiter cancelled my interview, the internal recruiter looked into her database for old resumes and found mine. Called me directly, and offered to flip a contract position to an employee position. Which just- it doesn't happen like that usually.

It seems like it's not right. And, as a wise man from Iowa once told me: If it's not right, it's wrong.

How do I get there from here?

I have nearly everything I ever wanted in life. I mean, at one point in my life. I have nearly everything I wanted in early 2003, to be exact.

Recently divorced, I realized I should probably set some new goals for myself. All I really wanted up until that point was to be a fantastic wife and help my husband with his business.

When that went to shit, it was obvious that my ambitions were lacking. So I enrolled in school. Like real college. I was going to double my income every five years. And eventually, I'd make enough money to buy a Dodge Viper.

No, I did not put any silly parameters around what I'd actually do to make the money. Just that I must do this as quickly as possible. I want the Viper before I turn 40.

It wasn't really all that difficult to double my income the first time within five years. I was making a crappy hourly wage doing easy work at a small company in 2003. Doubling it again, though, I've had to stay really focused on the goal.

Every now and then, I revisit this goal- does it still make sense? Is it what I want? Am I happy with the work that I do? How do I look in Blue? Should I get a Viper with silver racing stripes or white?

Yes, I still want this. I have some interest in starting a family, settling down, but I have to pay off these GIGANTIC student loans and pay for my dream car and I'm running out of time. Only 7 years and 5 months until my final cut-off. Eeeek!

Empty Wishes

I wish to have a filter that would force me to say NO to staying out all night to party until the sun comes up.

I wish to be more organized and remember deadlines and act on them accordingly.

I wish to be able to eat delicious Mexican food and pasta daily and have a slim, athletic figure without exercising.

I wish to dedicate time to doing laundry before I end up with only ridiculous looking outfits to wear.

I wish to have a job that pays well, is geographically desirable, and has incredibly generous benefits.

I wish to have my essays write themselves.

Derr!

Sometimes, I feel like a complete lame-o. Like right now.

I'm trying to re-build this website that I've re-built several times before.
I just... can't... remember how to do it!
This isn't rocket science, yo.

It's just- maybe I hate doing it, so every time I finish with the re-build, I purge the step by step process from my memory.

Which is actually a really bad idea since I'd rather just get this over with.

Ugh, back to the drawing board.

I get around

Jobs I've had that won't make it to my resume:

4 hours working the counter at Cousin's Burgers. I left during my 15 minute break and never went back.
Hostess/waitress jobs at IHop, Dennys, and Sizzler
3 months as a project manager at a healthcare staffing firm. I left badly.
My 2-day stint as a kiwi branch cutter
8 months as a dog groomer
7 months as a telemarketer at a shady company. I was a top sales rep.
An ongoing position for 2 years where I cleaned out the expired drugs from a doctor's office medicine cabinet. For some reason, every pain killer was "expired" every time I looked :)
4 days as a receptionist for a staffing company
1 month as an executive assistant at a chain restaurant's corporate office