A night "out"

When partying at gay bars, keep your fantastic boobs covered up.
Leaving them out in a tank top for men to see may lead to:
Uninvited motorboating
Getting bit hard enough to leave a huge bruise
Having one of the hottie gays take your number to hang out "some time" and getting 3 calls within 2 hours of saying goodbye
Accidentally getting kissed hard on the lips by a flamingly gay boy. No tongue.

These are all tips from me to you, based on a- whoa. 4th call from hottie Elvis boy. Says I have the best boobs ever and something about laying pipe all over LA? WTF. I told him I'd google that. Laying pipes... Any input?