Monday, September 21, 2009

Bet it all!!!

My mom insists on everyone yelling "BET IT ALL!!!" while watching the TV show Jeopardy in her home and someone gets a daily double. I yelled it out at a Mexican restaurant the other day while my roommate and I were picking up dinner.

She sneered at me and said "We're not at your mother's house."

I don't care. It's something that is so ingrained in my psyche that it would literally hurt to fight it.

Tonight, my two roomies were on the couch, watching high quality reality TV programming and eating Carl's Junior takeout. I walked in to the living room to say something really witty and let them admire my beauty for a minute, but was interrupted by the male of the pair. He was mumbling something with a full mouth of burger. Just the way I like him. Wait...

Anyway, my female roomie grabs her dog (apparently, she understands burger mumble) and holds her down. The dog. Just making sure that was clear.

And I go- what's that about? She says- he doesn't like the dog to watch him eat.


Weird, right?


I mean... really? The dog totally hangs out with him all the time, but- HEY! No watching me chew!!!

So my female roomie says something about him being a freak and I stepped in to his defense. Something about "there are weird things that bother me too". But I was silently laughing at him. Really... the dog can't watch you eat?

We were talking outside a little later - mostly me laughing openly at him - and we pinpointed this eating behavior to his mom's strange eating habits. She'll eat like 3 things in the entire food chain. Sliced tomatoes, plain lettuce, and white wonder bread. Maybe hold the bread. So that's PROBABLY where his "issues" stem from.

Moms make us say and do crazy things.

What do you do that comes from your raisin'?


B.E. Earl said...

I yell "Bet the house!" during daily doubles.

I wonder if he lets the dog watch him when he's crapping or jerking off. That would be weird.

Rassles said...

I had never had pears, meatloaf, fish, wheat bread, jam (only grape jelly), any type of casserole...and a whole bunch of other foods until college. If my mom didn't like it, we didn't eat it.

But the big one is this: Because of my grandpa, I cannot leave a room if Sinatra is singing. I have to wait for the song to end before I exit. If I'm in a bathroom at a restaurant and Sinatra is playing over the radio, I hang out in the bathroom until the song is over.

AND THEN! That Barry Levinson movie Liberty Heights came out, and a kid in the movie says, "You don't walk out on Frank. It would be disrespectful" and I freaked the fuck out, because finally all I'd ever learned from my grandpa was validated in pop culture with that one sentence.

TC said...

I start crying - literally - every time I realize I've done something that my mom would have. And what's sad about that is that she's a crier. I just can't win.

Scotty said...

BET IT ALL! Now I want to scream that. I will too.

I'm with Rassles on the food deal. Though, no seemingly normal foods. I think. Like, I had never had brussel (sp?) sprouts until last year.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

BE, My mother would toss you out on your ass if you yelled that in her home. It's BET IT ALL or nothing. You blaspheme.

Also, I'll let him respond to tell you if he lets the dog watch that or not.

Rass, I haven't seen that movie or heard about not walking out on Frank, but I'll try to remember this next time I hear him singing. And I'll stay put.

Have you tried meatloaf yet? I hear it's pretty tasty.

TC, I gave up on being upset about turning into my mother about 5 years ago. One morning, I woke up and realized that resistance is futile. Acceptance is key to keeping your eyes dry.

Scotty, You would make her so proud if you adopted that ritual. And brussels sprouts should be outlawed. Ack.

Bob Dobalina said...

I shan't offer a defense because I have none. I will however point out that it's limited to only one of the dogs. The one that sits in front of me and begs for food constantly. It's hard to enjoy my dinner when a dog is a foot away, mewling and desperately watching every move I make in the hope that a crumb will fall to the floor. Gah, it just bugs me.

When I'm crapping and masturbating (simultaneously, I don't have time to do them separately) then I don't mind her watching.

Le Meems said...

Wow. Well
I get The Tank from my mother. She did NOT let anyone ever get over on her. Now she's a sweet, kind caring woman. She'll drop everything to help you. Cover you in kisses. Assist you. Love you.

But Hot Damn 100 if that woman doesn't jekyll/hyde into The Tank when there is a threat around.


Le Meems said...

Also, Bobalicious,
I feel you on the dog begging.
It's annoying.
Uma knows not to do that shit.
Because I will shank her.
If she does.