Typical Tuesday night

I went home to a house full of ladies last night. 10? 8? Something like that. Counting is hard.

They were all in the war room, discussing. Getting excited about... things. Planning and learning to use chop sticks. I dropped a couple bottles of wine on the table and tried (and failed) not to distract anyone from their meeting.

Later, most everyone had gone to wherever ladies go when they leave our home. There were four of us left. Drinking, smoking too many cigarettes, laughing, sharing stories. We were on the back porch and someone in the apartment complex next door shooshed us.

It was kind of a loud shoosh. Then, the neighbor from just upstairs came near his window and I asked if we were being too noisy - he said we weren't. Cool, so we kept chatting, giggling.

And then. Regis (my pup) went apeshit and ran toward the front door. Which means that either someone was knocking or he thought someone was within a block of our home. My roommate went to see who was there while the rest of us remained on the porch.

She was gone for a few minutes and honestly, I forgot about the possible late night visitor. Until I walked into the kitchen and caught a glimpse of my roommate holding Regis and talking to a gorgeous man at the door. A police kind of man.

Someone called the cops on us for being too noisy. Likely the shoosher.

I sat my glass of wine down and went to investigate at the door. My roommate was just asking Officer Hotness what time it was (noise curfew?). He answered 11:30pm. Pretty serious. Of course, they had already confirmed that there were only 4 people present and that he couldn't hear a thing when he walked up. But he's bound by duty to investigate a call.

I am bound by nature to ask him if he has a girlfriend. And then (un)kindly mention that I don't want to talk to him anymore when he says he does. We - all four of us girls and O.H. chatted about our project and planning, he told us about his sister, and he pet Regis.

So thank you, crankypants shoosher. Made my night much more rad.

Gangsta me

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but when I was 16, I was hanging out with several guys who were in a Mexican gang near my town. It's surprising to me even now, looking back, that I was totally comfortable with the crowd.
My friend Dundee (small town white girl like me) and I would tell our parents that we were staying over at each other's houses and our gangster friends would pick us up.
We'd always have them buy us a bottle of Boones Farm Strawberry Hill and a 40 of OE each and the night would begin. We would just drive around the college town nearby and stop to talk to anyone who we knew.
One night, it was just me, Auto (nick named for grand theft, auto), and Danny who were cruising around. Danny had just bought me a pack of Marlboro reds and I was finished with the Boones Farm, starting on the 40.
All of a sudden, Auto starts yelling at Danny to pull the car over. Danny does so and Auto jumps out of the car and launches himself on a guy who was walking down the street. Auto beat the crap out of him and got back in the car. Danny sped away while Auto yelled about how the guy looked at him the wrong way as we were passing him in the car.
I was pretty drunk, but still had the presence of mind to demand that Danny let me out of the car immediately. I knew Auto was going to cause more trouble and wanted no part of it.
Danny pulled into the high school parking lot to set me free just as 3 cop cars surrounded us. Somebody had seen what Auto did and called the authorities.
They tossed Auto onto the hood of one of their cars, cuffed him, and took him to jail. A cop came over to me and asked for ID. I was only 16, so he took my cigarettes away and called my mom through his walkie talkie thing. I could hear her yelling at the cop to take me to the station IMMEDIATELY. I was in such deep shit.
When Mom got to the station, she knew right away that I was drunk and demanded that the officer give me a breathalyzer. He refused, telling my mom how cooperative I had been and he issued me a curfew violation.
I got 6 months informal probation for it and haven't ridden in the back of a police car since.