Saturday, December 12, 2009

Gross realization

Iwoke up early this morning, excited that I'll be off to San Francisco in a few hours for SantaCon. Let the dogs out in the rain and made some coffee. After two cups, I hopped in the shower. As I was washing my hair, I started to feel a little queasy.

I often feel like I'm going to hurl. It's my weak stomach- not pregnancy. I hope. So I continue my business and breathe through it. Just as I finished applying conditioner, I shocked the hell out of my shower by projectile vomiting all over it. Disgusting. I don't think I've ever done that before.

Anyhow, it was my coffee with vanilla flavored cream and there was more to come, so I hopped out, dripping wet and confused, and got rid of my second cup in the toilet. Well placed. Much better than in the tub.

When I was finished, all I could think was- I wonder if the caffeine made it into my blood stream yet or if I'll have to drink more to feel the effects. That's when I realized I have a serious problem. Caffeine addiction.

Here I sit on my deck overlooking the Pacific ocean, hair still full of conditioner, drinking my third cup of coffee this morning. I'm waiting for the lingering effects of the nausea to pass before I attempt to finish my shower.

What a gross way to start my day.


Scotty said...

I wonder what %'age of people have at least one cup of coffee to start their day..

I also liked how you tagged this 'morning sickness' - ha

Del-V said...

I throw up in the shower because of my alcohol and Oxycotin addiction. Caffeine is for children.

Le Meems said...

Fucking disgusting man. I wish I'd known this. It would made it even funnier watching you order 17 vodka red bulls.
In 7 minutes

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Scotty, I looked this up and there are various studies with similar results. Anywhere from 52-77% of adults over 18 in US drink at least 1 cup a day. I would like to see a study about how many of them get morning sickness from it.

DelV, Oxycontin makes you sick in the morning because you're going through opiate withdrawal. If you get up and take more in the middle of the night, problem solved.

Meems, I just have no respect for my weak stomach. But I didn't hurl after all that vodka. Just felt retahded the whole next day. Speaking in monotone and staring blankly.