Holiday Cheers.

It's been about 8 years since I have celebrated Christmas.

I'm not Christian and just find it weird to celebrate the birth of the savior of people who believe in this great myth. It actually upsets me that people are so excited to celebrate a holiday that was adapted from another mythology by a bunch of evil rulers many years ago as a way to control the actions of the population.

I find Christianity to be hypocritical- why put so much faith in a religious figure who was kind, gentle, generous, able to accept the ultimate punishment for expressing love and unity - and then wage bloody, cruel wars in that same figure's name? Why persecute all who didn't hold the same beliefs and values? It goes against logic and upsets me that the people practicing Christianity rarely recognize this.

But I'm over being upset about this. In a world that is in constant turmoil because of religious clashes, I have accepted that this is not isolated to Christianity. It is not isolated, even, to this century. Since time immemorial, people have needed something bigger, greater, more powerful and mysterious than themselves to believe in. It gives them hope and that is an incredibly comforting emotion.

So fine. I'm glad these people have hope. And that they can remind themselves of the hope by hanging bright lights from dead pine trees and baking gingerbread cookies and giving each other fancily-wrapped presents. I'm glad that during this time of year, people are reminded that they should offer to help strangers and give money to charities.

Earlier this year, I decided not to despise this holiday anymore. My roommates and I got a tree and we spent hours and many dollars shopping and decorating. We hung bright, beautiful lights on our balcony and put a Santa hat on a life-size skeleton that hangs off the same balcony, just over our front door.

I went to San Francisco in a Santa costume to party with hundreds of other people in similar dress. I bartended and played Dance Dance Revolution at an office party. I even bought a few ridiculously funny presents for one of my roommates during our decoration shopping spree.

This feels much more lovely than in previous years, where I had to take a vacation in order to distance myself from these kinds of festivities. People are giving me booze and bath salts and cookies, for crying out loud. And I'm thankful for it. Mostly for the booze.

We're having Christmas dinner at our beach house with family and friends. I'm going to insist on a prayer before dinner. It just seems like the right thing to do.

Gross realization

Iwoke up early this morning, excited that I'll be off to San Francisco in a few hours for SantaCon. Let the dogs out in the rain and made some coffee. After two cups, I hopped in the shower. As I was washing my hair, I started to feel a little queasy.

I often feel like I'm going to hurl. It's my weak stomach- not pregnancy. I hope. So I continue my business and breathe through it. Just as I finished applying conditioner, I shocked the hell out of my shower by projectile vomiting all over it. Disgusting. I don't think I've ever done that before.

Anyhow, it was my coffee with vanilla flavored cream and there was more to come, so I hopped out, dripping wet and confused, and got rid of my second cup in the toilet. Well placed. Much better than in the tub.

When I was finished, all I could think was- I wonder if the caffeine made it into my blood stream yet or if I'll have to drink more to feel the effects. That's when I realized I have a serious problem. Caffeine addiction.

Here I sit on my deck overlooking the Pacific ocean, hair still full of conditioner, drinking my third cup of coffee this morning. I'm waiting for the lingering effects of the nausea to pass before I attempt to finish my shower.

What a gross way to start my day.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the tow truck

I don't generally whine much about how much I hate my job. Please don't look through old posts to prove me wrong and call me a liar.

But yesterday. Yesterday, my car was broken and my plans to go into the office were dashed. Instead, I was loaded up with two fellas in a tow truck and we drove around Southern California in traffic, my big sedan on the back. It was one of the guy's second week at his job. The other guy was training and enoying the intricacies of the job as he explained them to the trainee.

We bumbled along the freeway at low speed and drove through a truck weighing station at 3 miles per hour. The whole time, I was listening in to a conference call for work and realized that I have an incredibly boring job in comparison to theirs.

I talk to the same people, day after day. I know what meetings I'll attend and what I'm responsible for delivering before my week even begins. I don't chat with strangers in the front seat of my car for an hour or two while passing the time in traffic.

I'd really dig being a tow truck driver. Or a horse trainer. Or maybe a cashier at a night club. OR OR!!! Perhaps a TSA agent. Yeah, that would be pretty cool.