Monday, November 02, 2009

Strangers and Hugs

Last night, I hugged a homeless crack head on the sidewalk in Oakland late at night.

I had been drinking a tiny bit inside the bar with a couple of friends when I needed some fresh air (I lie. I was smoking. Wasted drunk and smoking to be very clear.), so I stepped outside and the bouncer followed me.

This homeless dude came up to me and asked if I could spare any money. I was like- all I have is this iPhone, this cigarette, and this lighter. But then I checked my pocket and had TWO DOLLARS! I passed it over to the man and wished him a good night.

The bouncer who was guarding me shook his head. He asked where I'm from. Obviously not a local, huh? I was being a bit too sweet to the crackhead homeless dudes for his taste.

To make his job of guarding me more difficult, another homeless crackhead came over and asked me for money. (Oakland is kind of ghetto in most areas, by the way) I told this new guy that I had just given ALL of my TWO DOLLARS away to the last guy. But then I said- you know what?

I'll give you a hug instead of money. Every homeless crackhead needs a hug, you know? So I shocked the living hell out of this fellow and hugged and told him I hope he gets better and that he finds a meal tonight. And he asked me if he could finish my cigarette. I handed it to him and went inside with Mr. Bouncer.

He came over to where I sat down with my friends and told me I need to be careful- that these guys have scabies. I didn't notice any scabies on my crackhead friend, but I did appreciate the bouncer's concern, so I asked him if I should go to the hospital. He didn't think I'd need to do that, but recommended that I don't hug any more of these guys.

It's not like I go around hugging ALL of the homeless crackheads in the Bay Area. I mostly just high five them. Duh.


Logical Libby said...

I used to love hanging with the homeless people in Dupont Circle when I lived in D.C. Of course, I also used to drink a six pack for dinner...

Jay said...

One time outside of a strip club in Vegas a homeless dude came up to me and my friends and said he would "watch our car" for a few dollars. We weren't sure if it was a threat or not, but we each gave him a buck or two. The dude at the door told us he was harmless when went inside. Anyway, when we left he was sitting on the curb behind the car eating a cheeseburger. He pointed at the car and said "Ain't nobody messed with it!"

Scotty said...

did you know that some people call scabies 'the itch'?

I didnt until I looked up what scabies looks like.

Del-V said...

I wonder if Mother Teresa was concerned with Scabies?

Rassles said...


I have this bad habit of giving crackheads and homeless people umbrellas. I figure I can always get a new umbrella.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Ok this post is funny to You my dear have a good heart.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Libby, that sounds dangerous and fun.

Jay, in Cape Town, my friend Marcia paid guys to watch her car nearly everywhere she parked. So handy.

Scotty, I have never seen them. Will look it up now!

Delv, mother Teresa had the one true god on her side and was protected because of it. I do not enjoy the same advantage.

Rassles, yes, I read about that. You're looking out for the hobos- good work.

Tee, or just a really nice drunk,

Anonymous said...

I carry a five dollar note in my pocket in case a homeless person (read: drug addict) accosts me in the street for money when i'm visiting Melbourne CBD.

Which happens a lot.

(Being accosted, that is).

This usually works out well for me, although i do worry that one of these disease ridden derros will hug me one day in gratitude. Which would be unpleasant.

(For me, that is).

Le Meems said...

Oakland can be just as ghetto as SF, my dear. I tried to show you the good parts, but hot damn 100 if your friend doesn't live in straight up compton lbc come to life in LBC.

Keep hugging. Especially outside Lukas. And in Oakland. Love makah the world go round.