Empty Wishes

I wish to have a filter that would force me to say NO to staying out all night to party until the sun comes up.

I wish to be more organized and remember deadlines and act on them accordingly.

I wish to be able to eat delicious Mexican food and pasta daily and have a slim, athletic figure without exercising.

I wish to dedicate time to doing laundry before I end up with only ridiculous looking outfits to wear.

I wish to have a job that pays well, is geographically desirable, and has incredibly generous benefits.

I wish to have my essays write themselves.

Learning from mistakes: I'm doing it rong.

SOME people make a mistake, feel stupid, and try not to repeat it. Me? I happily do the opposite. I've been reminiscing and telling stories about the stupid things I've done all weekend and it's just so- um- sad yet funny. I live a full life without worrying too much about where I'll end up. Consequences be damned.

I mean- my dating stories alone could fill 600 hilariously painful pages. I love laughing at myself.

I also love feeling the fiery passion and adrenaline that comes with jumping into major life decisions with both feet.

The feeling that I get when I'm on the verge of a possibly very fun but risky adventure... Haaaaaaa. Can't wait.

Fun game

I've been doing this for several days now.

Step 1: lose all of your phone data
Step 2: respond to text messages as if you know who is sending them
Step 3: guess who the person is and make plans to meet them- text only! No phone calls to see if you guessed right.
Step 4: show up at your meeting spot and see if you guessed right

someday, I'll need to re- enter my phone data.

Stoopid week

My week started off badly. Sunday night/Monday morning will go down in the history books of Tabbie for all time as one of the top 10 strangest experiences of my life.

Drinking turns some people into completely psychotic dick noses. I'm not going to go into details here because it's too much to put into writing. Maybe someday when we're sharing our 3rd bottle of champagne (or cap classique) of the night, I'll tell you the story. By then, it will be light-hearted and I'll toss in all of the things that make me giggle about it. I'll leave out the parts where I was afraid for my safety and the part where I thought a friend of mine was for sure about to produce a monstrous amount of puke and/or get arrested in Nevada.

After that night, my week got worse. The drunky drunk friend let some information slip that shouldn't have gotten out. Another friend of mine got her feelings hurt. I hate to see my friends hurting.

HATE it.

But there was really not much I could do about this. So I just sent out a warning signal to the other people involved in the mess that there was, in fact, a mess. And I backed off.

Now, I'm not sure where to turn next. It's like my ability to process friendship information is broken. I love every one of the people involved in this icky mess, but they don't love each other.

People I love are being mean to each other. I HATE this.

Also, there's no goddamned clock on this computer screen. It's some kind of bullshit when I can't even use a computer screen to tell the goddammned time. Fuck you, screen.

Wait. It's not the screen's fault that I'm pissed. Still, I hate this stoopid, worthless screen.