Holiday Cheers.

It's been about 8 years since I have celebrated Christmas.

I'm not Christian and just find it weird to celebrate the birth of the savior of people who believe in this great myth. It actually upsets me that people are so excited to celebrate a holiday that was adapted from another mythology by a bunch of evil rulers many years ago as a way to control the actions of the population.

I find Christianity to be hypocritical- why put so much faith in a religious figure who was kind, gentle, generous, able to accept the ultimate punishment for expressing love and unity - and then wage bloody, cruel wars in that same figure's name? Why persecute all who didn't hold the same beliefs and values? It goes against logic and upsets me that the people practicing Christianity rarely recognize this.

But I'm over being upset about this. In a world that is in constant turmoil because of religious clashes, I have accepted that this is not isolated to Christianity. It is not isolated, even, to this century. Since time immemorial, people have needed something bigger, greater, more powerful and mysterious than themselves to believe in. It gives them hope and that is an incredibly comforting emotion.

So fine. I'm glad these people have hope. And that they can remind themselves of the hope by hanging bright lights from dead pine trees and baking gingerbread cookies and giving each other fancily-wrapped presents. I'm glad that during this time of year, people are reminded that they should offer to help strangers and give money to charities.

Earlier this year, I decided not to despise this holiday anymore. My roommates and I got a tree and we spent hours and many dollars shopping and decorating. We hung bright, beautiful lights on our balcony and put a Santa hat on a life-size skeleton that hangs off the same balcony, just over our front door.

I went to San Francisco in a Santa costume to party with hundreds of other people in similar dress. I bartended and played Dance Dance Revolution at an office party. I even bought a few ridiculously funny presents for one of my roommates during our decoration shopping spree.

This feels much more lovely than in previous years, where I had to take a vacation in order to distance myself from these kinds of festivities. People are giving me booze and bath salts and cookies, for crying out loud. And I'm thankful for it. Mostly for the booze.

We're having Christmas dinner at our beach house with family and friends. I'm going to insist on a prayer before dinner. It just seems like the right thing to do.

Creativity or Lack Thereof

Is that even how thereof is spelled? What a strange word. Maybe I should start using spell check here. Meh, why start now though?

So- what this is really about has nothing to do with spelling or with my technical skills or lack thereof.

This is about "jokes" in my household. I noticed this morning that we tell the same joke over and over and it's starting to get old. It goes like this:

Person 1: blah blah blah insult.
Person 2: Your face.
Person 1: Your mom's face.
Person 2: How dare you.

I think we need some new material.

Conflict, Schmonflict

Some people run from conflict.
Some people thrive on it.

I have a mixed relationship with it. By mixed, I mean that I avoid it and hate it and can't even begin to describe the fear that I have of it.

I don't mind arguing- as long as I know that the stakes are low low low. If it's with a customer service representative, then it's their job to argue with me. I don't mind that. If it's with someone over which is bigger- 1/3 or 3/4- I don't mind that either because there is nothing invested for either of us in the correct answer (I was wrong on that one, mmmkay?).

But when there is something real and bothersome... Or something that could hurt someone's feelings- I avoid conflict like the plague. Or the Swine flu, to be more current and to add to panic.

For example: When my roomies and I moved into our new place, we had a moving truck. There was definitely enough space for the truck to park on the side of the house, but the neighbor's truck was parked there. My delightful roommate, GB, asked me to go see if he'd move the truck since I'd already met him and had been talking to him already.

The idea of asking him to move his truck scared the hell out of me. I couldn't bring myself to do it and she huffed and hemmed and went over there herself. And he moved the truck. I told her I was too shy to go over there myself, but she didn't buy it. I don't blame her either- I'm generally pretty chatty and I have a tendency to talk to strangers. A lot.

It's just- what if he had said no? What the hell would I have done? And would that have made living next to him completely terrible for the whole year that we're leased for? It was just too much to handle.

So I'll live with things and let things get to me. I'll totally blame myself for letting things bug me when I could just ask people nicely to stop/start doing something different. Maybe it's a fear of rejection.

Or maybe I just need another drink... Yeah, I think that will help.