Conflict, Schmonflict

Some people run from conflict.
Some people thrive on it.

I have a mixed relationship with it. By mixed, I mean that I avoid it and hate it and can't even begin to describe the fear that I have of it.

I don't mind arguing- as long as I know that the stakes are low low low. If it's with a customer service representative, then it's their job to argue with me. I don't mind that. If it's with someone over which is bigger- 1/3 or 3/4- I don't mind that either because there is nothing invested for either of us in the correct answer (I was wrong on that one, mmmkay?).

But when there is something real and bothersome... Or something that could hurt someone's feelings- I avoid conflict like the plague. Or the Swine flu, to be more current and to add to panic.

For example: When my roomies and I moved into our new place, we had a moving truck. There was definitely enough space for the truck to park on the side of the house, but the neighbor's truck was parked there. My delightful roommate, GB, asked me to go see if he'd move the truck since I'd already met him and had been talking to him already.

The idea of asking him to move his truck scared the hell out of me. I couldn't bring myself to do it and she huffed and hemmed and went over there herself. And he moved the truck. I told her I was too shy to go over there myself, but she didn't buy it. I don't blame her either- I'm generally pretty chatty and I have a tendency to talk to strangers. A lot.

It's just- what if he had said no? What the hell would I have done? And would that have made living next to him completely terrible for the whole year that we're leased for? It was just too much to handle.

So I'll live with things and let things get to me. I'll totally blame myself for letting things bug me when I could just ask people nicely to stop/start doing something different. Maybe it's a fear of rejection.

Or maybe I just need another drink... Yeah, I think that will help.