I met this guy at a friend's wedding recently and we got along great. He made me laugh. He asked me to dinner the next week. Cool!
We had dinner, he KILLED me with laughter. I seriously had to stop laughing at one point because I was about to pee myself and that just wouldn't be ladylike.
He travels for work a lot and told me he was going on a trip to Lake Tahoe this week. Poor fella was sick with the flu over the weekend, so I sent him a text on my way home from work last night. And so began one of the strangest text conversations I've ever had.
Tabbie: Hope you're feeling better & enjoying your "work", funny man.
Him: Air is thin
(Tahoe is up in the mountains. Okayyy...?)
Tabbie: Yeah. Go to an oxygen bar. It makes a world of difference especially if you're drinking.
Him: My job promotes drinking yeah
Tabbie: Dude then take my advice & go breathe pure oxygen so u don't do a crappy job of drinking for work!
Him: Heart beats harder
(WTF)
Tabbie: That could just be all the excitement
Him: I like it warm
Tabbie: What?
Him: Altitude
Tabbie: U like warm altitude?
Him: I like it warm
Tabbie: Well, this is an odd conversation.
Him: Its the drinking abd altitude
Tabbie: Whoa drunk by 7. Good work!
Him: Good time
(so I thought that was the end, but at 12:54 am...)
Him: Oh
(so strange... right? I sent this one back at 5 this morning)
Tabbie: Random Oh in the night? Hmmm
(then at just past 7am)
Him: Pain
Tabbie: Drink some water take an aspirin and go back to sleep
Him: The best hangover remedy is sex
Tabbie: So have sex. Duh.
Him: Ya there are no soft women here, my profession still has a lot of males
Tabbie: Bummer. Maybe u should try to handle it urself
Him: I know. It is happy right now
Him: Say something dirty
Tabbie: R u still drunk?
Him: Yep
Him: Dirty birdy
Tabbie: Ah. That explains a lot. OMG.
Him: Sex is a good thingy
Tabbie: Ummmm yeah
Him: I think sex with you would be a good thingy, you look soft
Him: It would
Tabbie: Wow. U may want to consider sleeping this one off. Not that I disagree about sex with me being a good thingy.
Him: Sweet, I'm trying to but need to handle myself first
Tabbie: good luck
Him: Nice
(and several minutes later)
Him: Pain
Tabbie: You're repeating yourself, drunky.
Him: No, I was coming full circle
Tabbie: Oh
Him: Ya
He's joining me for a friend's birthday party on Friday night. I wonder if he's crazy or just REALLY REALLY wasted. Miss M, please give me a breakdown of what you think of him? Of course, he may get REALLY REALLY wasted at your party too and then we may never know.
イラマチオ夫人 パンティと生寫真付き 番号：WSP-162
2 years ago
7 comments:
Wow. There's a good argument for making cell phones with Breathalyzers.
I didn't think it was possible to look forward to M's party even more.
It is. I can't wait.
Logical, the iPhone should have this!!!
BobD, miss m, burlesque, and this guy. What could possibly go wrong?
I would say that shit like this never happen to me but then I remembered last night. Hey, at least it wasn't over text. Luckily I don't remember much except the guy wanting me to show his bum some love for giving me a cigarette (him not his bum. I don't accept cigarettes from bums). And something about porn movies. All in a weird Russian accent. His not mine.
I think everyone knows the best cure for a hangover is water, asprin and a big breakfast.
Dammit, I wanted to see if this guy spoke in non sequiturs in person or if he limited it to text.
Instead he treated us like his sexual partners and left us disappointed and alone. Pah.
That was a strange text conversation. Wow. I would hang out with him once more to try to determine if he is really strange or not before I take him to the party. It could be that he was just drunk...who knows.
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