When are you the asshole?

My feelings get hurt pretty easily, so I'm generally gentle with the feelings of others.

I don't like to intentionally hurt anyone. Unless they truly deserve it. Before passing judgement and getting upset, I ask myself- was that person being intentionally hurtful toward me? If not, I am passive. I understand that people make mistakes, misjudgements, are hurried or upset at something that has nothing to do with me.

Sometimes, I'm that "asshole" doing something to unintentionally hurt someone else. I apologize and mean it when I realize I've done this. And when I find that I've forgotten to be sweet to someone, I apologize. It's the right thing to do.

Being an asshole to people may make me feel better in the moment, but it's not worth the lasting hurt that it can cause to someone else. I wish more people, specifically those who come in contact with me, would consider the feelings of others before taking action and passing judgement. And calling names. Ouch.

So I'm not the only one with the data/"feelings" struggle

Ah, Valentines Day. It forces people to look at their love lives. Or lack thereof. I've never been a fan of this holiday, but I'm not one of those anti- celebratory people for Valentines Day. I think it's sweet that people take a day out to recognize their love for each other.

But I just don't think I have what it takes to really get into it. A celebration of love. It seems to forced to me. Kind of like when my mom used to tell me I had to apologize sincerely for something I had done wrong. I have a hard time being sincere when I don't FEEL something sincerely.

My eyes give me away. My energy gives me away. The way I get close to "feeling" something and then shutting down gives me away.

This Valentines Day, I won't force anything. I'll have to figure out what to do for my boyfriend. I'm sure he's thinking about what to do for me as well. I wish I could tell him not to worry about it, but I'll be honest here. I like presents.

Oh yeah. I have a boyfriend. It's new, I didn't go out looking for a boyfriend. My life would be simpler without one, but I like him and he likes me. So we'll see where it goes.