Pantiless trampoline incident

I used to have a completely insane co-worker.

She is a total slut and a stoner and prays before every meal, wears a cross around her neck, and goes to church on Sundays and Wednesday nights. Seriously- she's not just a little bit of a slut either- she used to bang co-workers in little empty offices at work. Just before she walked out to her car to smoke a bowl on her lunch break.

Now, I'm not saying that being a slut or a stoner is a bad thing. Not at all. It's just an odd thing for such a religious person. Aren't Christians supposed to be more pure than the rest of us?

She went to lunch with my friend and I one day. She had just returned from an extended medical leave- turns out she broke her leg while on a trampoline.

She tells us her story over enchiladas and iced tea:

I had just come home from church on a Sunday and I had a friend over, so we wanted to go and jump on the trampoline in the back yard. I was wearing a skirt for church, so I tossed on some daisy dukes and went out there. I wasn't wearing panties with the skirt and didn't even think to put them on with the shorts.

**I interject- No, I'd never wear panties to church!** She doesn't really notice the sarcasm and continues...

So I'm showing off my old cheerleading moves for my friend and I jump like 5 feet in the air and do the splits and I landed before I was ready for it. And my leg just snapped.

My friend called the paramedics and all these firemen show up - and it turns out I "Know" one of them, you "know"? So they want to straighten my leg out and they're trying to mess with it and I remembered that I hadn't shaved recently!

So I've got all this bush hanging out of my daisy dukes and all I could do was cover it up with my hands and ask for a blanket before they could go on with their work.

I guess the moral of this story is that you should always be prepared. If you're going to be wearing short shorts and no panties, do some grooming beforehand. And if you're going to be breaking your legs on trampolines, get to know your local emergency responders in advance. They'll probably treat you extra special.